Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc.Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... If you went on a date with a person with a bag and you knew it, would it make a difference in your choice of a 2nd date?I was 16 years old when I had my first ileostomy and I accepted it for about a year. I was a teenage girl who had to live with a stoma and an ostomy appliance for the rest of my life. Everything about my existence at that time seemed to revolve around my secret.To say it tore me apart emotionally would be a huge understatement… The point of me even mentioning that is to point out that I did everything to avoid letting someone I was interested in know my “dirty little secret.” I was so ashamed and for some reason it was just ingrained in me that if anyone found out the truth, I would have no friends and no one would ever look at me in a romantic sort of way. I was so hell bent on being private about the details of my surgeries that it forced me to become someone I wasn’t.An ostomy alone is not a deterrent to any activities you are otherwise capable of and that includes your social life.Whether a person desires companionship, active participation in sex, or a serious romance leading to marriage, how one's surgery will be accepted by a potential partner or friend is a normal concern.It forced me to become this phony person who never felt good enough, who felt the need to constantly please people, who had absolutely no self confidence, and who had no idea what a real relationship should be.I was so obsessed (literally, there was no other word to describe me during this time) with getting rid of this thing on my stomach that I poured my heart and soul into focusing on alternative surgeries that would allow me to be with a guy and have him find me attractive and be able to wear clothes that everyone else could.
So it's somewhat reassuring to know that there's plenty out there that get on just fine, even with this obstacle.
My obsession led to me having five kock pouch operations (also known as a continent ileostomy.) When I had a kock pouch, only a small bandage was needed over the what looked like an inverted stoma.
I put a catheter into the stoma which allowed stool to come out of the body. Free from the inner torture that ensued me for years of living with a traditional ileostomy. The issue was me and how uncomfortable I was in my own skin.
Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate. I am asking this because I am one and am tossing up whether this will really work for me...
I know there are genuine men out there, so please don't think I am being negative. OP -- We all have different level of comfort that we're willing to accept.