Dating as a single dad

Some 2.8 million single dads live with their kids, up 27 percent from 10 years ago and nearly double the number in 1990, according to Matthew Weinshenker, assistant sociology professor at Fordham University, who analyzed 2010 census data.(The number likely includes many joint custody arrangements.) While single dads face many of the same dating challenges as single moms, there are some differences: In a survey of 100 single fathers, the vast majority preferred to date women with children, thinking she would be more selfless and understanding of his commitment as a father, said Ellie Slott Fisher, who conducted the survey as research for her book "Dating for Dads: The Single Father's Guide to Dating Well Without Parenting Poorly" (Bantam).As a single dad wading back into the dating pool, Daniel Ruyter was surprised how many women lost interest when he revealed, always in the first conversation, that he had a son."At first I took it personally," said the Orlando, Fla., information technology analyst, who was 32 when he divorced and got joint custody of his then 5-year-old son."I found it very arbitrary that before they got to know me, they had decided against me."But as Ruyter cycled through "close to 100" first dates and a few long-term girlfriends (a scheduling feat, considering half his week was devoted to his son), his romantic standards heightened in ways they may not have pre-fatherhood.[Tweet This] Routine in family life is important even under ideal circumstances, and parenting is Job One. Of course, a lot depends on where things are with their mom; but, when in doubt, err on the side of discretion. Accountability is always a good call, but it’s especially helpful when you’re exploring these new relationships.

You can date freely and meet people, but just be careful about rushing into anything too soon.Boy, was I wrong, and what a smack into reality I received!Here’s the deal, when you are a single woman in her mid-30s, with no children, pretty much every man you are going to meet, that is your age, and you want to date is going to have children.Recovering after divorce or a breakup can be incredibly difficult.When you add children to the mix, the pain and confusion grows tenfold.