Fuck me free no sign up

This is the context I'm looking for so I'm not looking a phrase to call myself directly "a fool" or something.Edit: Do the Viennese have an appropriate equivalent if the Berliners do not?

Edit: I say "fuck me" in English to myself when I realize I have been screwed by someone or something and I have helped the someone or something screw myself.

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In English I say "fuck me" a lot to show annoyance with myself.

So, I'm not trying to say "fuck-me" in the sexual way such as "fuck-me" boots etc.