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Yesterday a friend shared a blog post titled “To the lady ashamed of being pregnant with her fourth.” In this post the author describes her encounter with a pregnant woman in an elevator, who, after sharing that she was pregnant with her fourth child, was relieved when her elevator companion congratulated her instead of expressing her condolences.

She also shared how often people had asked her if this baby was “planned.” My husband and I are expecting our first child, and one of the most surprising elements of my pregnancy so far has been the number of people who have, point-blank, asked me if this baby was “planned.” The first few times it happened, I was floored, and truly did not know how to respond to such a question.

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I would like to thank Elena Petrova and her web-site for the truth about Russian women.

Lest anyone think that this is a non-issue, magazine ran a cover article in August 2013 about “The Childfree Life: Having it All without Having Children,” complete with a glamorous cover photo of a beautiful young couple sunbathing on a beach—alone, no kids, no sand toys or sand castles in sight.

At a time when birthrates are declining to record lows, this issue is a pertinent one.

We have become a society that does not value the life of children. We value the life of children when we plan for children, when children fit into our blueprint for life.

We see this issue of control perhaps most clearly in the tragedy of abortion (as Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta lamented, “It is a poverty that a child must die so that you may live as you wish”) but the battle rages much more subtly, as well.