Why is it that so many managers fail to live up to their full potential?After making it to management, many end up losing steam along the way, drowning in endless meetings and emails while trying to manage up, down and influence their peers. The following excerpt from Do you consider your direct reports your friends? Your first instinct in any interaction is to build close, personal relationships, and you will do almost anything to protect them. so that [my people] would like me.” To confuse being liked with being trusted or respected is a classic trap for all managers. You avoid doing or saying anything that might cause tension or upset others.Well, this is a confusing one for a lot of guys to understand because you will often hear women saying that they “like” nice guys.When women are talking about a guy they’re interested in, they will usually say things like, so it seems like that is the key to success with women.He may even let you foot the bill on meals sometimes.But, paying for someone isn’t about covering somebody who couldn’t cover themselves. The Anxious, Avoidant and Fearful-Avoidant are all but manifest that insecurity differently. I talked about patterns couples get into and what to do about them.
So, why does being too nice to a woman often lead to rejection?In other words, an Anxious person may find themselves retreating and looking more Avoidant if the person they meet is more Anxious and pursuing than they are.This is because both styles are insecure styles and are reactive to the anxiety each face with closeness and connection.They’re not about liking, chemistry, or personality.Relationships that are personal can only produce disappointment in the long run.