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When you see your child texting or chatting online, you may assume they are communicating with friends and family. A study from Cox Communications found that 69% of teens regularly receive personal messages online from strangers.

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So educate yourself on the chat lingo they may use to hide their conversations.

The author of The Joy of Cybersex, Deborah Levine, had spent several years counseling college undergraduates at the Columbia University Health Education program. Like earlier safe-sex activists, Levine used bullet-point lists to introduce the sites her readers should know and to teach them the language that they would need to thrive on them.

Levine encouraged them to use their computers to flirt, start online relationships, and explore their farthest-fetched fantasies without taking real-world risk. The pages she cited ran the gamut from tutorials for geeks, like to resources for free lovers like the Open Hearts Project and

And they all had something in common: the same excuse.

Just about every man who came to our house said it was the first time he had done something like this and most claimed they really had no intention of having sex with a minor.